Odd.....

I figured I would take advantage of having a computer to use. I went to the doctor yesterday and had my "official" first appointment of the pregnancy. So basically they did a pap and drew blood and checked the heart beat. While I was sitting and talking with my doctor about everything she told me that there were a lot of things we were just going to have to wait and see what happens. She told me that my history is EXTREMELY ODD. Nice right? It is a little frusterating to hear from a doctor that you are odd. Not onlyu because, who wants to be odd, and second that just means that all of this is trial and error.  For me this is not the first time. When I was dealing with the infection on my hand I was told by several health care professionals that I was "odd", "different", "weird". She explained that because of how both of my previous pregnancies turned out she was really not sure how this one will turn out. She thinks that the circlage would be a really good place to start but for the most part we are playing everything by ear. Although this is frusterating, I am still excited! My husband is really starting to rub off on me:) I don't know what happened but he seems way more into this one than the others. (other than his silly moment I mentioned in a previous post).
So I looked down today and could barely see my toes! I am still in the first trimester so you might ask how my belly got so big so fast. Answer is its not my belly its my boobs! They are HUGE! I am not even joking. I am sure I will develop back problems before this baby gets here especially at the rate they are growing. I have always been "blessed" with a big chest but holy wow this is too much!!! Not to mention they hurt all the time. Does this continue through the entire pregnancy? I don't remember this from the last two times. I remember them being sore but not so big. Anyways, I will stop ranting about my HUGE rack.......lol:)
I had a meeting with my boss today about all my scheduling. I feel it went really well. Because of my type A personality, its a huge relief to have an organized plan all the way around. Between my doctor, my work, and my home we are ready with a plan! As long as we (including the baby) can stick to that everything is all good! Even if I am odd:)

So Much To Do, So Little Time

Well it has been a few days since I was last here. I ended up with almost an entire week off (go me!) and unfortunately my computer at home is not working so yea. I had to wait until I came back to work to write. I only have a couple of updates. First is, I reapplied for OHP and I believe we qualify this time! YAY for that! Its funny to me how they can deny me for being $100 over on income one month and then approve me the next for barely being under. Oh well as long as I have some insurance! The second is, I went and saw a specialist on Monday. He is going to perform what they call a circlage. This is where they stitch your cervix to try and prevent it from dialating. Or at least too much. They are going to do the procedure the Monday after Thanksgiving. I will be out of work for just a few days and then should be able to return to normal schedule. The specialist said there is a 95% success rate with this procedure, which I think are pretty good odds considering what it would be without it. It is also something that can be left in if we are planning on having more kids.......after this round of morning sickness its really hard for me to commit to more than one. Not that its completely out of the question but seriously! I am convinced that they have one of those zappers (like on men in black) that makes women forget everything after they have the baby. After all the uncomfortable, sick, emotional days I truely don't know why we get pregnant again. Its like causing a kidney stone on purpose. Not really smart if you ask me;) My husband is really starting to get excited about the baby, which makes me smile! He talks about it every day. He has been a lot more patience with the morning sickness too. I have managed to make it out of the house a few times. I was completely exausted by the time I got home but I had a good time. Well, there is not much left to report for now. We are praying that we only have one more month of sickness and fatigue and then we can get back to (somewhat) normal. All I know is that I am eating Thanksgiving dinner no matter what this silly baby says! Love you all! Have a great week!

We Have a Heartbeat!

Today I went in for my second ultrasound. The baby has grown into a little peanut with a heartbeat instead of just a yolk! Kindof exciting! The peanut is about 12cm long but has a heartbeat like no other! So far everything looks good, and we should be welcoming a little baby by June 4, 2012.
I am still battling the morning sickness. What really sucks is that I can find something that settles my stomach and it will work for a few days and then all the sudden it doesnt anymore. I am able to keep things down with the medication the doctor put me on but I still don't feel very good. My husband the other day, bless his little heart, says to me "You can't be sick all the time babe!" I don't think I have ever wanted to punch someone in the face as bad as I wanted to at that point! I don't know how to explain to him that this is for real. I am really truely sick and don't feel like doing anything. That includes the dishes, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, etc. It takes enough for me to motivate to go to work the 3 days a week that I am. I wish he could be pregnant instead so he might understand. Or even better if I could just not work while I was pregnant, I would imagine more would get done around our house, but reality is we can't afford for me not to work so take it or leave it!
I guess the one up side to being so sick is that it is really helping me not to smoke. I can't say that I have gone a full 24 hours without a cigarette YET, but I have probably cut down to less than 1 cigarette a day. I feel like I am doing better than the last two times. It is funny to realize all the funny things that make you want to smoke (as a smoker). For example, when I am done brushing my teeth. Ok so its gross but I got into the habit of smoking right after I brushed my teeth, now I am lost after I brush my teeth. I am a little OCD when it comes to routine. When something in my routine gets messed up it drives me batty! (I am sure if my mom is reading this she is laughing a little:) Needless to say, I have to find a new routine because smoking cigarettes apparently was a big part of my routine. Cigarettes are truely my one regret. I wish I would have never started so I didn't have to try and quit.
Well life is moving forward. Have a busy 9 months ahead but we are ready! We are praying that the 3rd time is in fact the charm:)

Worried

There is nothing worse than getting a phone call from the doctor when you are not expecting to hear from her. She called me yesterday because one of the swabs she took when I went to see her came back "negative". I have some sort of infection (as usual) that has been associated with pre-term labor and a poor cervix. I guess more than anything she really seemed frantic. That made me really nervous. So, anyways she sent in a perscription for some antibiotics. I went to go and pick them up and they said because I don't have insurance it was going to cost $93!!!! I don't know about anyone else but I don't EVER just have $93 extra dollars to spend on ANYTHING! Talk about an emotional breakdown! So not only am I freakin out because of the initial phone call I am freakin out because I had no way to pick up the 7 frickin pills that I really need. I had to borrow money from my room mate which I hate doing. Luckily when I went back, the very nice gentleman at the pharmacy said he found a program that gave me a discount so I only ended up paying $55. Way better than 93 but still pretty spendy. Ugg. I keep trying not to over think the situation but it is really hard. I don't want to have complications. I want it to be normal like everyone else. I know that isn't the case. I know that there are people that have experienced or that will experience what I have but sometimes I do feel alone. And I feel like I have to hold it together for everyone else's sake. 
Well I have a couple days off so I am going to hang out at home and get lots of rest and try really hard not to think about it. Oh and the antibiotics that she gave me, the first thing it says under side effects is nausea and vomiting so......yay me! NOT! It's kindof funny, I have pills to stop the nausea and then I have pills that cause the nausea. Should be an interesting weekend.

Things that make you go hmmmm.........

I was reading facebook today and I saw a little blurb that said "pray for the baby that was found in the bin and ants were eating it." I have a really hard time with this. I WANT a baby SO bad that to see someone be so neglectful and careless makes me SUPER angry. There are plenty of programs out there, there are plenty of PEOPLE like me that would take that baby and love it and give it a good life. I mean at least someone found the poor thing before it was dead but still, not exactly the best way to come into the world. Is it lack of education on these programs or what? I see things on TV and all over for these things. Why wouldn't someone just take their baby to the hospital and then split? put it in a basket on someones doorstep, that is better than in the trash!  I don't know. It just really gets to me. I know so many people that would give anything for a child and then you read things like this. Anyways, that was my upset for the day. I cried and everything about it. I guess maybe I don't understand this part of the "plan" you know?
On a brighter note, I haven't thrown up for over 24 hours now! YAY me! The medicine that the doctor gave me has helped that a lot. I still don't feel the greatest and I am still extremely tired but I will take that over hugging a toilet any day (that is why I never liked drinking much, not really a big fan of throwing up:) Tonight at work, saltines and soda is what saved me. One of the Valet guys that I work with said when he was younger and got sick he swore by pepsi and saltines so I decided to try it (I was willing to try just about anything) Much to my suprise it has settled my stomach all night! I was having problems with crackers before because they were too dry but with the soda and carbonation, it fixes that problem.
On a brighter note than the first one but not so much brighter than the second. I am still smoking:( I did really good for a day or two and then today (before work) I kindof  "fell off the wagon." My brother Daniel is in Australia on a Mission. When I wrote him and told him my news I brought up the whole smoking thing. He sent me some good advice that I will share with you all.  "I've never had to do it, but I've gained a bit of insight in trying to help people quit here in Australia. The amazing thing is that it can be done. Especially with the Lord's help. If you slip back into it don't give up. Don't be too hard on yourself either. Only be hard enough on yourself to do better next time. I have full confidence that you can do anything you set your mind to. Just imagine the relief that will come in so many aspects. Financial relief, physical relief, spiritual relief, and so on." He is my younger brother but already so much wiser than I. He is absolutely right about the relief. Cigarettes ARE a burden on me. They are expensive, they smell bad, they create health problems, and so much more. I appreciate that he has faith in me. And I really like the part where he said "only be hard enough on yourself to do better next time." That is something that seems so simple but its amazing how big a difference it made in my own head. People always tell me not to be too hard on myself, but that is how I have justified my actions. I say "I can't stress myself about this so I am just going to do it." Well this time that isn't the case. So, this time around I will make it 3 days instead of 2 because I know I can:) Thanks Daniel your my hero!
One more thing that I really just can't help but comment on. It really has nothing to do with my pregnancy other than it has to do with my family and the way I was raised. Mormons are a cult? Really people? We are not Christians? Really? That whole thing is really irritating. I may not go to church, or live my life like I should being who I am and how I was raised but I will admit that this situation kind of hurt my feelings too. It makes me sad that people are so ignorant. You really just shouldn't say anything if you don't know what your talking about. Cult or not I am proud to be a part of the LDS church and I believe in Jesus Christ and I believe that is all I need to be considered a Christian. Besides when it comes to an election who really cares about the religion. People blind themselves to the more important things because they can't move past that? That is stupid. When people run for office they don't do it to preach or push their religion on anyone so why is it even coming up? There are plenty of people out there that have the same standards and morals and are not mormon. If they were running no one would question it just because they are not mormon? Come on people!!! Lets get it together really!
Ok that is all my ranting for the day. Sorry to go all religious on your asses but I couldn't help it:) Have a fabulous day!

I Miss Food:(

So the last few days have been spent trying desperately not to throw up. I have been doing ok. I did throw up once but that has been it so far. Just a constant feeling of ickyness:( When I went to my doctor she said that being tired and sick is very healthy and normal for pregnancy. I just hope I am not one who is sick the entire pregnancy. I miss food:( I miss being able to eat all the yummy goodness.....Wow just typing those words made me a little sick. I am telling you, its bad! On top of that I have the winter sniffles. Hopefully it is not going to turn into like the flu or anything.
I did finally let everyone I work with know. The feedback was very positive! A HUGE difference from the last time. We have worked out a plan and a schedule that I think will work for the time being. It is nice that they have the staff to cover if I really need it. I can't really afford to take time off, BUT, its nice to know that I can without repercussion. I think it also helps that there is a houskeeper that is pregnant right now as well and we have both been experiencing morning sickness. It is nice to have someone who can relate to what your going through in the moment. I know a lot of you have been through pregnancies but having someone to sort of go through it with you is nice. If that makes any sense. I feel like I have more people on my side this time, instead of against me.
Today was my 1 year anniversary. We spent the day playing video games and watching movies. We were going to go to dinner but with the whole food hating me right now, it didn't really make sense to go out to eat. My birthday last week was kindof the same. I just hope that I am not sick through all the fun holidays this year. It would probably kill me if I wasn't able to eat Thanksgiving dinner:( And all the yummy baked goods through the season! It would be truely devistating!
Another thing that I have noticed lately are smells. I swear I can smell EVERYTHING! This does not go over well with the sick thing. One wif of something horrible and its all down hill from there. Thanks to a great friend of mine (lisa) I have a sentsy warmer and some really good scents! I have that thing on pretty much all day long. It at least drowns out all the other interesting smells my nose seems to pick up!
Well that is all I have to add today. I have another ultrasound the end of this week and then another doctor appointment on the 19th. We should be able to hear a heartbeat! Very exciting! Thanks for reading!

SOOOO SICK!!!!

This will be brief. I am so incredibly sick again! I thought for sure I was going to have it easy this time around, but it was just waiting. It hit me pretty hard yesterday morning after work. It is weird how morning sickness literally comes out of no where. I can be sitting here feeling almost normal and all the sudden I want to puke in your face! (I will attemt not to actually do that to anyone but in the event that that does actually happen, sorry) Anyways, its my friday and I plan to do nothing for the weekend! Maybe some well needed rest will help me feel better!
Thanks everyone for your comments and support. As far as the e-cigarettes, I am more concerned with the risk it may have on the baby. I decided not to try it yet because my doctor had not even heard of them. I want to make sure it isn't going to be just as damaging as cigarettes. (not that I can smoke anything right now because again the whole puking in peoples face:)
I hope you all have a splendid day!

So Far So Good!

Well things are looking good. I had an ultrasound today. I am only 5 weeks pregnant (because according to the ultrasound tech I apparently didn't ovulate when the world told me to;)so you couldn't really see anything. I did get a picture of a gestational sack and a yolk so I definately have the starts of a little one inside. My hormones are increasing rapidly (like they are suppose to) I went from being at 760 to over 1900 in less than 48 hours. Once again, it is no wonder women get so crazy when they are pregnant! My first doctors appointment was moved to tomorrow October 4th. She decided she wanted to get some cultures to make sure everything is starting out ok. I am kindof lucky I think. Most women don't even get in to see a doctor until they are about 8 weeks. They also don't get to do an ultrasound this early. I am glad I got to do both early however it does put a false sense on how far along I really am (at least in my own brain).
I have been having a little bit of morning sickness. It is honestly nothing like the last time. I think I have a better idea of how to manage it this time, which I am truley grateful for. It is just hard to find something that sounds good. NOTHING sounds good. Not even my most favorite foods. I love food but right now we are fighting:) I have to force myself to eat otherwise I just get sicker and sicker. Forcing yourself to eat when you don't want to really sucks! About as bad as being super hungry and not having any food to eat!
My task to quit smoking is on the right track. Since I found out I was pregnant, I have not smoked at work not once! That may not sound like a very big step but for those of you who know me or smoke for that matter should know how big that is! I am finally to a point where I don't even think about it at work. The next step is to stop smoking in the car. I was thinking that if I kept eliminating the times that I smoke the most then I can eventually just quit. I really want to go into my doctors appointment on the 19th of October and tell her I have quit! It would be such a huge thing for me! Has anyone ever tried those electronic cigarettes? I was just curious as to how well they worked. I was thinking that maybe that could help me quit too, but I don't want to spend that much money on it until I do some real research. The last thing I need is something that is going to be just as addictive as a regular cigarette. 
So quick recap: I am stuborn because I didn't ovulate when the world said to, I am hungry because I can't eat anything, I am crazy because my hormones are through the roof, I am lucky because I get to do things no one else gets to, and last but not least I am soooooo HAPPY because I am pregnant and the third time is a charm! Have a wonderful day everyone! Thanks for reading! Come again!