Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Try not to Stress

It is always interesting how life throws these weird curve balls at you at the most inconvenient times. When I went to my follow up appointment after the surgery there were a couple of problems. The surgery itself was fine but I had lost more weight. I really don't know how this is even possible. I feel like I am always eating. She is concerned though. She started to ask me questions about work and is now wanting me to either move to day shift or stop working. She thinks, and I agree with her, that working graveyard is starting to take too much of a toll on me. I have been doing it for several years now and so it seems like I should be use to it and it should be more natural. Unfortunately, since I became pregnant it gets harder and harder. No matter how much sleep I get during the day I am dozing off at night. Forcing myself to stay awake when my body is saying its tired is too much stress. So now we are faced with an interesting problem. I can go to my bosses, which I plan to do, and ask to be moved to day shift. I know this isn't possible. I know this because of 2 things. 1. Everyone at this point is fighting for hours because we are in our slow season. and 2. I am the newest hire so I don't stand any ground taking someone elses hours. Not to mention that I was hired for graveyard specifically. So that leaves me with not working. I am scared not to work. That is the easiest way to explain it. I don't like not being able to pay my bills or put gas in my car or buy groceries. That stresses me out. I know we will be fine. Willy and I have survived some pretty crappy situations together so I know we can make it but it is still scary. What happens when he gets sick and neither one of us can work? Then how do we pay the bills? I took this week off to try and decide what I was going to do. I still haven't come to a complete decision but here is part of my thought process. Every parent struggles for their kids. I know my parents did. I know they worked harder for us than anything else. They did everything in their power to make sure we were healthy and fed and taken care of. I know I am not holding a baby in my arms yet but I still believe this baby deserves that from us. If I have to stop working and we have to struggle for a little while to make sure that this baby is healthy and taken care of then that is probably what I should do. I mean when this happens for us we have years of struggle ahead right? Isn't that how most parents feel? Not matter how much money they have? But I don't know many parents who would say it wasn't worth it. So my other argument to that is, they say pregnant women lack rational thought. Is this really a valid thought or am I just sounding crazy. I am sure there are a lot of people who would think because of where Willy and I are in our lives we should not even be considering having kids. We are no where near being financially stable. We don't own a house. Our truck is great but not exactly in the best shape. Not reliable enough to leave town, not to mention not really a family vehicle. Some people might even call us irresponsible for trying to have kids. So that is how I convince myself that I should just buck it up and continue working and just get over myself. What really sucks about all of this is that my doctor left it up to me. What she said was "I would love to take you off work for the rest of your pregnancy, but I am going to leave it up to you."  So I am open to any advise or suggestions anyone may have about this. I want honesty even if it may be harsh. Thanks for reading my rambling:) Love to all!

5 comments:

  1. There are going to be many hard times. This is only the beginning. I think you should be on bed rest and then when that baby finally gets here then you can go back to work. You need to do what is best for making sure the baby is going to make it here safe. We face financial difficulties everyday with our three kids, but there is nothing in this world that I need more than my kids. I would rather my kids get to meet their cousin. I love you. If you need anything call me.

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  2. we lived on one part time income and both went to school and had Esther and stayed debt free it is doable. we also had 3 kids before we upgraded from a 1989 crown Victoria Andy's dad gave us. you are no more irresponsible than us. pregnant ladies don't lack rational thought they just have a little less control of their emotions. I need tons of sleep and tons of food when i am pregnant. I think you should quit. it is a rough adjustment. i went from going to school, and being really involved in music to almost nothing and 2 kids all at once. it was rough. but as long as you find things to do you will live. you are not just sacrificing for the baby it is for you too and you both deserve it.

    good luck (:

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  3. Talk to your boss before you worry too much. There might be someone who is desperate enough for hours to switch to nights. That would probably mean that you get fewer hours, but few is better than none. Also, I found that it was more stressful not to have anything to do but worry about the baby. It's kinda nice to think about something else for a few hours a day. Also, if you are stressed about money, budgeting so that you know where all of your money goes helps a lot. There is a site called mint.com where you can set up a budget really easy and it tracks all of your expenses automatically and then sends you a weekly report. It makes finances a lot easier and makes it easier to see where you can save money. Also, I just bought a couple of pairs of cute maternity pants at Goodwill. I spent $16 instead of $70. It was nice. I should probably have just called you...

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  4. have you ever tried to take a sleeping pill in the day to help you sleep better? I know you can take Tylenol PM (I would check with your dr. just in case of course) maybe that would help you. Good luck!

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  5. Not working for you and the baby's health is a more rational thought than working when your body says no. Do what's right for you guys!

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